Little Jimmy Olsen just wanted to win the contest. He recalls: "I just wanted to win the contest. I thought it would validate my existence. You know... and win a few DVDs maybe."It all started at a prominent asian cinema fansite, that urged its readers to insert DVDs into the front of their pants and send pictures of this normal, everyday activity in to them. A winner would then be chosen at random.
Jimmy Olsen decided to go all out for the contest. Choosing one of his prized boxsets (sources close to Jimmy's crotch tell us that it was a Japanese LE, but this is unconfirmed), he proceeded to ram the case into the front of his jeans. The set was difficult to insert. "It was a seven disk set" Jimmy said, "with several toys, postcards, a holographic card, replica sword, several action figures, a keychain, a script book, a checklist indexing all of the contents of the set, and a small card warning not to insert the set into one's pants (which I didn't heed)." When the pants finally gave way after several forceful tries, the box set plummeted towards Jimmy's unmentionables. The results were devastating. "I just passed out from the pain." Jimmy remembers, "I awoke in the emergency room, and the doctors were trying to surgically remove the DVD set from my area. It was horrifying."
The LE box set ravaged Jimmy Olsen's groin, causing catastrophic injuries from which he will never recover. "He will never be able to insert a signed, numbered LE into his pants ever again," said Dr. David Manheim.
The website that created the contest could not be reached for comment at press time, because they were too busy laughing.
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