D-War Finally Dated for Release

That's right, folks, our inside sources have finally pegged a release date for the Korean/US $70 million dragon epic. It looks like we can all enjoy its beautifully corny action on June 12th, 2013! We recently caught up with director Hyung-rae Shim to talk about this exciting announcement, to which he replied, "We just haven't really felt like releasing it. I mean, it's pretty rad, but it's more fun to just, like, wait for movies than it is to actually watch them, right?"


Indeed, good sir!

Even more problems for Battle of Red Cliff

The already troubled John Woo-directed Battle of Red Cliff has suffered yet another major problem during shooting. After already having casting problems (the project has lost several key actors) the project has now lost another major contributor - its cameras.

It's not yet clear why the cameras decided to leave the project - one camp says that they simply didn't have enough time to master the tricky Mandarin dialogue, while another claims the cameras were demanding more money - but Woo seems unfaised. It seems the director has already solved the problem: he's going to shoot the project through his hands.

"Its always been a dream of mine to shoot a project through my hands,' he hasn't been quoted as saying, 'all directors would like to show the audience the film through their own eyes - I'm going to use my hands."

Drunken Master Signs On For Rush Hours 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 and Rush Hour: The Beginning

Source: ipFreely.com

In a shocking turn of events, which will sadden his fans, Jackie Chan has signed a contract to star in the next seven Rush Hour projects. This shocking turn of events apparently came about when an intoxicated Chan was convinced to sign a document binding him to reprise his role Chief Inspector Lee another seven times.

According to Jackie Chan's press agent, Billie Lueng, Chan does not remember signing the document: "He doesn't have many recollections of the night in question. He certainly doesn't remember signing anything. He was inebriated. You know... hammered, pixelated, smashed, pissed, drunk, cockeyed, goosed, jacked up, decimated, out of it, wasted, plastered, drunk out of his mind, steamin, tanked, tipsy, minced, trashed, ravaged, battered, drunk as a skunk, three sheets to the wind, high, blasted, blitzed, four to the floor, intoxicated, skunked, stinkin' drunk, soused, up to his eyeballs, liquored up, jolly, mottled, pie-eyed, scattered, messed up, zombied, gubbed, drunk as a lord, loaded, glazed, unsober... I'm sorry if I'm not descriptive enough. English is a second language to me. We propose to dispute the legality of this dubiously acquired inscription."

New Line Cinema has fired backed that they got Jackie drunk "fair and square". "I mean, if he (Chan) pulls out now, then who will reimburse us for this obscenely large bar tab?" said New Line representative Stinkybutt Cheaplaugh.

Hopefully this will teach Jackie Chan a big lesson in responsible drinking: in the company of Hollywood sharks, it's just not wise to get smashed, hammered, loaded, trashed, liquored up, glazed, cockeyed...

Deleted Scene: The Killer

Happy belated Easter...

the general's podcast!!!

coming soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Guest Blogger: Edison Chen

Yo yo yo...
wud up yall...
dj edison n da house.
don b h8tn


shout out ta fcck crew...
my homies...
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easter...
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colored... pimped out eggs..
sum plastik wit lil sumn nside...
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check out sum my crew...
edison chen bffs...
gay friends..
chilin..
funki fresh..
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tight..
ya now da drill...
don B h8n yall...



sum mo my crew... represent yo!
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ate marshmallow chicks...
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peace out my homiz...
ebonics 4 life fool!